Some days are great and you feel like youre doing so well. Then theres other days where you want to quit.
I tried swimming in open ocean, where I cant stand, far from the shore. @samoa_ironman swam alongside me so I should have been ok. I swam as far as I could and then paused to rest by treading water. I got hit by a wave of panic so desperate that I started shaking and I cried, fogging up my stupid goggles, because Im so fking scared - of sharks, of drowning, of running out of strength, all of it. I was able to keep going and finish the distance which I should be proud of. But I'm so discouraged that after this many months of swimming, Im still so afraid. I came home and cried some more and the question Im asking myself now is - why am I doing this to myself? Why am I putting myself into deep open ocean when its not actually necessary to my life?! Why am I signed up for stupid triathlons in open ocean WHEN IM SO DAMN FRIGHTENED OF THE SEA?! This is so stupid. I dont want to go back. Maybe I should be doing duathlons. #ForgetIt #enough #swimmingSucks #oceansKill #tired #triathlon